Shibaricon 2008

I’m flying over Chicago heading back home to Salt Lake, writing this with a feeling of things ending, of things just beginning, and of things found after many years of hibernation.  I’ve spent the weekend at Shibaricon, a conference on Japanese-style rope bondage and all things related.  The experience was one I shall not soon forget, and was more welcoming than I could have dreamed.

I was late in discovering Shibaricon, having only learned of its’ existence a month earlier.  I delayed in registering for economic reasons, and only 10 days earlier had made the concrete decision to travel.  After making the reservations, booking the tickets and committing myself, I immediately felt an anxiety take over me.  What was this I was going to?  What was I looking for?  What did I hope to take away?  What was I getting myself into?!?  All alone in a city I know nothing of, knowing no one, and going to a conference for kinky rope bondage, would I feel comfortable?

Unable to stay at the conference hotel due to the last minute plans (no conference rate available, and no budget to afford it even so), I was making myself a complete outsider, unable to share in even the bonding associated with staying in the same hotel together.

I showed up on Friday morning early, and attempted to not be phased by my apprehension and the displacement that I felt.  The crowd gathered, waiting for admission as the event opens its doors for the first day.  They looked to be people of my ilk: SCA fans, science fiction and fantasy convention goers, adorned in fetish, kink attire.  Not fetish like a night on the town, nor a night of kink in a dungeon, but more a fetish of busty tops, short skirts, and lots of black.  Many people sported a geek look, a simple shirt decrying their love for being bound or binding others, their desire to beat or be beaten.  My kind of people!

The conference started and there was the usual hustle and bustle of organization being reorganized, of things falling into place, and of things being worked out on the fly.  Only the vendor area was open – so many things to look at!  I had no rope, so had come prepared to buy some.  But what to buy?  Shibari is best done with a natural fiber, a hemp or jute or similar Japanese traditional fiber.  These ropes have “teeth,” the ability to hold knots very well.  But what of their texture?  I began to feel the different ropes, and found a smoothness I hadn’t expected.  I bought two skeins of hemp rope, and proceeded to my first class.

I learned a few things that day, a few knots in practice that helped direct my thoughts to how to conceptualize the wraps and ties you’d use when tying for play.  The speakers varied in their abilities to present, but all had a love of their work that came through, and helped instill a similar appreciation in us the students.

I hadn’t been tied up in a substantial way in many years.  Rope used to be an important release for me, a way to go somewhere else for a time, to feel euphoric by simply constraining my body.  I had forgotten many of these things, had forgotten truly why I used to tie myself up, but had come compelled by a deep need to rediscover these things.  It wasn’t until the first coils of rope went on in a demo class that my body shouted to me “You are in the right place!”  The rope, tied on by a fellow attendee in the class, was tied expertly about my body, tightly cinching up my upper arms and torso, immediately taking me to the place I used to take myself.

After it was over, the class concluded, I gazed upon the ligatures in wonderment, a bundle of excitement from the brief and simple experience.  Why would such a simple act, innocuous and out of any erotic or sexual context, bring about such an immediate and euphoric feeling?  The tight hemp felt wonderful against the skin, the pinching of the rope and the occasional pain from constriction a welcome friend.

Later, I attended the tail end of a rope bondage wedding ceremony, with a suspended woman having coil after coil of plain hemp rope unwrapped off her rotating form, the top expertly drawing the rope away one by one.   Such a beautiful and sensuous experience!  This suspension was a gift to the couple that was getting married (their blog).

The opening ceremonies came next, with Graydancer controlling the stage as the master of ceremonies.  They spoke of family, of community, of a coming together of friends long apart.  I had met a few, but still knew nothing of what they spoke.  What I saw, though, was truly a warm and welcoming community.  Tears were spilt as recognition was given to those who’ve come far and been such an important part of others’ lives.  The formality of respect, tradition and structure that I’ve seen in the leather community was replaced with an informal recognition of everyone as traveling a path together, of the experts and novices alike walking side by side along this path.

And then there was play.  And play it was!  The conference space transformed into a dim dungeon full of such a wonderful diversity of play as I’ve nary been privileged to see.  Not a dungeon of leather-adorned sadists and their beaten and whipped slaves as much as a dungeon of kinksters enjoying all different types of play in all different types of garb.  Plenty of leather abounded, but more rope than anything else, of all colors, lengths and types.  The rooms were sprinkled with suspension frames and dungeon furniture, tables and chairs.  Always you could find a half a dozen or more women of all ages and sizes flying from suspension rigs put on by duteous tops enjoying the act of tying.  Men and women alike took the roles of dominant and submissive, of top and bottom, and the play ran the gamut of kink.  Hitting, spanking, bull whipping.  Latex nun tied up and tortured by sadistic priest.  Men leading women or women leading feminized men around, parading them for all to see their humiliation or rope ties.

Some were quiet, sensuous, and had an intensity that was difficult to avert your eyes from.  Others were social, inviting audience participation, a spectacle of tied skin and humiliation for all to comment upon.   Each player had their own style, their own aesthetic, their own fantasies being built and fulfilled.  Quiet talk abounded while people lounged, watching, talking, and wandering around from room to room to see the goings on and share in the energy of the scenes they would witness.  It seemed that no one judged, no one had expectations of perfection or super model beauty.  They accepted all play as something beautiful between the players.

Some walked around, hoping for someone to tie up, others hoping to be tied.  Polite offers were accepted and refused.  I was privileged to have the offer of my services as a rope bottom accepted by someone whom I had met, and we had a delightful experience together, myself feeling completely comfortable under his confident hands.

The next night, Graydancer was again the presenter, this time for a delightfully funny cabaret featuring the talents of so many individuals in the community.  Ranging from a humorous suspension competition to kinky stand up comedy, the audience enjoyed every minute of it.

The classes varied in usefulness, but with seven rooms teaching simultaneously, the variety of class topics meant you could choose exactly what you wanted to learn and take away from the conference.  With four one and one-half hour classes, breaks, and the play space hours, I had little time to do much else in Chicago, and little desire to step away from a space that was becoming increasingly comfortable and welcoming.  I got little sleep, not wanting to leave the play space too early and not wanting to miss the 9:30am class.   I can sleep when I get home!

Looking back at the experience, I learned many things, took many notes, and have much to practice to make the knowledge a part of my skill set.  I met many people, most of whom I would be oh so pleased to meet again.  Some of the presenters for me became people I deeply admire and respect, people who showed such a passion for the work that I wanted to be close to them just to experience that passion.

I hope that I was able to give back in a small way to those that met me, that I was able to help make their experience as rewarding as mine was.  I look forward to other events, hope to see old faces and new, and hope that when next I return I will be more experienced and have more to contribute.